Whisper Challenge | With LavenderandheART

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Hey everyone due to some unanticipated complications in my week (being sick) I decided to go with an easier and more fun video for this weeks post. I hope you like the whisper challenge that we did today!

Updates

Hey everyone and welcome back to my blog, or welcome to my (if you are here for the first time). Today I wanted to do a couple of updates on where I have been! I have not posted in so long and its mainly due to the same old stuff that keeps everyone from doing the things they want to be doing, school and work. Currently I am in my final quarter of high school and community college, so with that comes graduation preparation, moving, part planning, working as much as possible, all while doing the school work I have to do to be able to finish this quarter. I am so excited to graduate and move and that stuff but it is a lot of work to do! So that is pretty much where I have been, being super busy and wishing that I had more time to blog and film and edit, all the stuff I love to do for my blog.

But fear not because this month I am doing my best to get back to posting on the blog. It may be the minimal amount that I can do so I am not straining myself but be prepared to see a post every Friday this month. Whether it is a written post, some pictures from my week or a video, there will be a post every Friday for you all who check up on my blog.

This blog has always been something that I do as a creative outlet for myself and to share things that I love with others. I always get disheartened when it gets put on the back burner but at the same time I know what I need to prioritize in my life.

None the less I want to say to you all HAPPY MAY, I hope your spring is going well and the weather is mild and temperate. I can’t wait to get back to putting out content on my YouTube, Instagram, and here on my blog. If you would like leave a comment down below of what kind of posts/videos you would like to see!

Thanks again for checking out my Holder of my Heart,

Hanna Caroline.

2016 Resolutions

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New Years Resolutions

Resolutions can often feel cliched and over done but this year I wanted to commit to 3 specific and thought out goals. Many times I write down my goals from the coming years and then forget about them for the next 364 days. With this short and more detailed list I feel that I will be more equipped to accomplish the tasks I set out for myself. So here they are 3 ways that I want to do better by 2016, to make it a great year for me and those I am surrounded by.

 

Live more simply.

In 2016 I want to make it a priority to live more simply. This past year I have started to feel the weight of all the stuff that we humans like to make a priority. I felt I always wanting more material things, thinking that they if I could just purchase that one thing my life would be so much better or change so drastically. Relying on stuff, material and worldly stuff, to fix my life and make me happy is not a way that I want to live. Material things have come between my relationship with God and my relationship with people. So in 2016 I pledge to make a change, I want to put my hope in the Lord, in people, and in love, not the stuff I can buy with my tip money.

 

Give more. 

Give more of my time, attention, love, money, and just give more. The world today is so focused on ME, me time and self care and treat yourself. The world says “give to yourself you deserve it”, I have bought into this lie and I have paid for it, really making myself a priority in my life only made my life harder. Giving myself a break from studying and homework when I really hadn’t deserved it or needed it, caused me to do worse in school and not learn from my instructors.  Buying myself things on a whim because I deserved it and it is my money became a big burden not only did I spend money things I didn’t need but I felt I missed many opportunities to bless others. In 2016 I want pull myself out of the center of my world. I deeply regret all the time wasted on myself in 2015 that could have been spent with my family or friends being present and enjoying the wonderful things about others. Giving more to others and experience blessings that way is something that I missed in 2015 and do not want to let slip away in 2016.

 

Learn everyday. 

I want to always be learning new things. This resolution could manifest as simply as picking up a new hobby like sewing or knitting but it could also be on a grander scale. I want to grow deeper in knowledge about the world around me which the Lord has created. Through reading and listening and finding new experiences I want to be learning all the time. I hope to return to you all this time next year with a list of things I couldn’t do and didn’t know before. What I learn, I hope, will not only be fun and interesting but also be beneficial to me as I grow up and go out into the world. Yes, I may be faced with a challenging task or subject but in 2016 I want to learn everyday with a hunger and a passion.

 

Thank you all so much for reading this year. Thank you to friends and family that support me in this blogging adventure. Thank you to those godly women whose blogs I love to read who inspired this. If you would like to share you resolutions for this year I would love love love to hear them so leave a comment down below. Welcome to 2016 may it be a beautiful new year.

-Hanna Caroline

East of Eden | Book Review 3

And my love for Steinbeck grows! What a whirlwind of a book, vast and episodic yet focused and detailed. Set, mainly, in the ever changing hills of Salinas valley East of Eden is a novel that keeps your brain awake the entire time you read.  In East of Eden Steinbeck plays out the age old battle, good vs. evil, over and over through the life of Adam Trask starting from his birth. Steinbeck deals with the fight of good vs. evil in the world in general and also the fight between good and bad that is within each individual person.

The battle is best represented in Adams son Cal. He observes the battles between light and dark in the world around him but has a difficult time facing them within himself. He feels stuck in the shadow of his brothers purity and perfection. Cal struggles with the idea that if you are bad you are all the way bad and his love for his brother blinds him to Aron’s shortcomings. Though it is not till the end of the book that Cal has a revelation and realizes that no one is purely good and he must learn this.

I have two quotes from this book that I wanted to share with you the first being:

“And now that you don’t have to be perfect you can be good.”

I will let you all read the book to find out the context of this quote but I think standing alone this quote says a lot about pressure that can be put on people. How people deal with being held up to a standard of perfection when there is not a single person on this earth that is perfect. Reading this quote reminds me that once I stop pressuring myself to be perfect at every aspect of my life, I can be good.

The second quote is:

“We have only one story. All novels, all poetry, are built on the never-ending contest in ourselves of good and evil. And it occurs to me that evil must constantly respawn, while good, while virtue, is immortal.”

I love this quote for its final line “virtue is immortal”. It makes one feel as though even with the constant battle of good and evil going on inside of ourselves and in the world virtue will always prevail because it is immortal.

I was so excited to read this book as I had read reviews and heard that it was one of Steinbeck’s best. And now I cannot wait to re-read it and fill the margins with notes and comments, and to highlight all of my favorite quotes. This book is amazing to read for fun but was for me a great learning experience. I feel that by focusing on how the book was written as I read I was able to learn more and more about Steinbeck’s writing style.

I would recommend this book to anyone who is willing to take it on. It’s definitely a commitment as it is quite long, but I think if you do read it you will not be disappointed.

Written Wednesdays

I’m Like This Mug.

Sitting alone at a small booth of a coffee shop, I sip black coffee. Its one of those places where they serve real food, but everyone who knows it just goes there to get coffee. It’s not even good coffee but people here still drink it. I was never sure why. I take another sip trying to taste anything good in the coffee. No, its like gas station coffee. The mug the waitress gave me is chipped. Smooth and rounded all along the edge until you get to the thumb sized hollow where a piece of the mug had been chipped off. I think about the missing piece of ceramic. Where did it go? Where is it now? How did it break off? I run my finger along the place where the piece used to be. Its dull, its been missing for a while so the mug doesn’t even remember it was there. Its forgotten so now it lives like its never even been broken. And when people come and sip from the mug it doesn’t use it’s empty spot to cut them the way it did when it first broke.

I sip again, this time I turn the cup so the chip is opposite me and when I tilt the cup to pour the coffee in my mouth I can watch the little hollow. I stare that little empty spot down watching it. Not sure if I am waiting for something to happen, but I watch it as my cup moves up and down, as I drink my coffee.

A song I used to know starts to play out of the cheap sound system of the coffee shop. Its a happy song, but it makes me sad. I look up as if the person I used to listen to that song with might be sitting across from me, putting more sugar than he needs in his coffee, grinning, and humming along to the song. But he’s not, he wouldn’t be, he couldn’t be.

“I’m chipped” I think turning my attention back to the mug. I lost a piece and its left a hollow spot in me. I don’t know if I can ever fill that empty place. I’m chipped. I’m not dull the way the mug is, not yet, I can still cut people. When they put their finger on that empty place, the place where the piece used to go, they get hurt. When they put their lips to my edge I cut them and they bleed.

I could learn from this mug. I could learn how to be dull so that people won’t get hurt by me. “How did you do it?” I think at the mug. “How did you forget you were missing a piece?”

I wish someone would come along and turn me, avoiding the sharp empty place. Drinking from me knowing I could cut them, but turning the sharp edge away from themselves. Give me the time I need to forget the missing piece and heal the empty spot. Give me time to become dull on my own.

I gulp my coffee until the cup is empty, its cold now, and for a moment I hold the cup in my two hands. “I’m like this mug.” I say quietly and to myself. Then I take the mug to the waitress counting her tips at the counter. “This is broken” I say as I set it down on the counter and walk out.

–Hanna Caroline

2015 Resolutions

News Years resolutions have always been something that I write down in my journal then never look at again, but this year I decided I would post them for all of you to see. Doing this makes me feel more accountable for my hopes of 2015 and I just really wanted to share these with you. Instead of doing 10-15 specific resolutions I decided to do five that would better me as a person. Every year brings a promise of a fresh start but so does everyday. So here they are:

Be Kind 

This year I want to work on being kind. My goal is to consciously make the effort to keep a positive outlook on life and the people in my life. To be patient and caring with people. In the world we live in today it can be so easy to let our tempers take control of our thoughts and actions. But in 2015 I want to let kindness and goodness be the leading forces in my heart.

Take Care of Myself

In 2015 I want to take better care of my body physically and mentally. I want to fuel my body with good foods and get back into shape. I want to run, drink plenty of water,get more sleep, and make it a point to include more veggies and fruit in my diet.I also want to take better care of myself in a mental way, as in read more, workout my brain muscles, spend less time doing mindless activities like watching t.v. or surfing the web. I feel that this is important for the new year because it is crucial that we give our temples the respect they deserve as they are God’s creation.

Be Grateful

Throughout the next twelve months I want to take time out of my day to be more grateful for the things and people in my life. I spent 2014 unhappy about the situation God put me in, I constantly complained about things. Not only did it make me unhappy it made me unloving towards my family and envious of people who looked as though they had it all together. I have so much good in my life and it outweighs the small amount of negative things that I might be faced with. Christmas always awakens this sense of thankfulness and this year I want to hold on to that and carry it through to the next December so that I can realize how blessed I truly am.

Enjoy Life More

I am a compulsive worrier, nitpicker, control freak, and as my sister put it up tight crazy person. So this year I want to let go of all that perfectionist and allow myself to enjoy all the moments in my life that are fun and beautiful and meaningful. Some times I need that controlled aspect in my life and I feel like that okay and even good, its a part of who I am. But when I let that consume me and steal the joy from my days is when I know that I just need to hug my family and laugh it out. To me its important that I take time to enjoy spontaneity and randoms fun things and silly beautiful moments in my life.

Have More Faith

Finally this new year I want to have more faith God. To trust him more with my life and to follow closer to his word. Going back to the control thing, my need for control causes me to be unable to give up my path to God because I feel that I have a better plan for myself. In 2015 I want to daily read the Lords word and follow in the way that he has for my to let go of that power hungry part of me that thinks I know everything.

I have high hopes for this year not only in my personal life but also for my blog I want to share who I am to be myself to take care of myself and show kindness to all and most importantly to follow God with all my heart. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season and that your 2015 is full of happiness achievements and chasing dreams.

Blessings

-Hanna Caroline